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01 - About Sucking

Let me be clear - starting out, you’re going to suck at this. A shining spectacle of embarrassment and awkwardness. Your first induction will sound like you’re reciting a pre-flight safety demonstration while a repair tech is wrapping one of the wings in copious amounts of duct tape. That’s not just expected, it’s a rite of passage.

Here’s another creature that’s known for sucking - vampires. Vampires are practically synonymous with hypnosis, aren’t they? A vampire that didn’t suck would clearly be an aberration from the norm. They’re even so bold as to state their intentions with the pickup line “I want to suck your blood” in your choice of a poorly acted Transylvanian accent. What makes this cartoonishly absurd request for your bodily fluids imposing is hundreds of years of experience and their prestige as a supernatural being. Their actions and intentions remain exactly the same from their first day as a vampire. I can all but guarantee the first time they looked at someone as a cherry-flavored Slurpee was neither suave nor smooth.

Unlike our mythical undead friends, hypnotists with years of experience still sometimes question their life choices. Sessions fall flat, and we continue to run into embarrassing hangups when delivering lines. What we have in common is we’ve embraced the suck, and learned to suck gracefully, even when things don’t quite go our way.

Sucking at this isn’t even all that out of place. You’re already getting ahead of the pack by being willing to learn and read. Most hypnotists just wing it and give up on subjects that don’t respond to their half-baked PMR (progressive muscle relaxation) and staircase deepener.

When you enter the community, most subjects will be willing and eager to help you along, and friendly hypnotists will be proud to support you and watch you grow. We’ve been there.

So congratulations on your new hobby. It’s going to be awkward, frustrating, solutions will initially appear opaque, and advice will be confusing and abstract until you get some experience, but it will be absolutely worth it. By the time you’re done reading this guide, you’ll have a clear path on how to start sucking.

Look - hypnosis isn’t difficult to do, it’s just difficult to dissect. If you’ve already tried a few inductions and want to learn more, this guide is for you. If you really are brand new, and already integrated into a hypnosis community, I’d recommend the following:

Shia La Beouf - Just Do It

  1. Pick an induction from howtodoinductions.com. Here’s a few picks I think would work well for beginners:
    1. The Fractionation Conversation. Give this a go if you’d like something more conversational.
    2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). A classic, it’s easy, works well, and is a nice tool to have for later. (Look - I know I already poked fun at PMRs, but they’re solid. It’s fine to start with this and you should continue to use them.)
    3. Sensory Overlap. A nice medley of techniques, and great for learning.
  2. Grab your mentally stable and trustworthy partner. Get consent. It doesn’t even matter if they care about hypnosis - this is practice time.
  3. Just try reading one of those out and see how it feels.
  4. This isn’t dubstep. Don’t focus on “the drop.” Just go through the motions.
  5. Chat with them and see how it went. See what worked and what didn’t. Use clean language - such as “what was that like?”

Come back here after you’ve given this a spin. It’s fun, goofy and a bit awkward, but you’ll get more out of this (or any) guide after you’ve conversationally slipped on a banana peel or two. More of this will click after you have an experience to relate back to.

While I think my set of writeups is a decent starting point for doing recreational hypnosis, I think you’d benefit more from reading either Binaural Histolog’s The Newbie Guide to Hypnosis for a thorough and frankly better written treatment of the subject, or beginning with James Tripp’s book Hypnosis without Trance and learn to apply street hypnosis techniques in your hypnotic rituals. I wrote the first iteration of this guide about a year ago for a giggle, and people keep coming back to my web page as a resource… so there’s got to be something good here. My guide is solid if you want something that cuts to the chase. If you have a sarcasm allergy, this content may not be for you.

I’m assuming that you’re brand new to this. I’ll be giving some background not only on hypnosis, but also some perspective on how to find and work with subjects. What you’ll have to provide is a connection to your own community, and an understanding of its intricacies.

I’m also not going to talk down to you. While calling this introductory material is fair, calling it a beginner’s guide isn’t. There’s no test at the end, you don’t need to memorize it, but it is a lot to take in.

While there is mention of kink, I wouldn’t call it kink-centric. You can learn to do squeaky-clean hypnosis here, but expect some NSFW content sprinkled about, mostly focusing on safety topics.

Also, if I’m not your vibe, that’s fine! I’ve written This Guide Sucks if you want out. (Or, breaking the fourth wall, it’s a collection of other approaches on getting started.)

I won’t be doing any deep dives into models or theories. While they’re interesting, they’re generally used as a lens to explain a technique or interaction, rather than providing the tools directly.

It’s possible I’ll challenge a few of your ideas on what hypnosis is. In this, I’m not just trying to piss you off. I’m trying to piss you off and give you more ways to work, and perhaps encourage you to continue reading outside of this guide when you’re done. You’ll hopefully encounter other points of view as you continue your journey, anyway.

I’ve got strong opinions. It’s up to you to decide if you like them.

You’re on the wrong web page. (The rest of you - keep reading, you can provide this advice if you run into someone that just asked you for help.)

Here’s what you want to do. Look for the psychology degree first, then the hypnosis certification - if any.

It’s also worth considering:

  • Minus edge cases like weight loss and smoking cessation - non-hypnotic therapy is about as effective.

  • With that in mind - effect sizes of therapy are only marginally better than active placebo. (Source - The Emperor’s New Drugs.)

    “Wait!” I hear you cry. “That’s awful news!” Nope - it’s great news! Cognitive behavior therapy lasts longer than placebo, and it’s much easier to find a therapist or coach you vibe with through a website like https://www.betterhelp.com/. They’ve helped me immensely in a pinch.

  • Self-hypnosis is great for things like pain management. It’s not the first tool you should reach for if you need to make life changes.

  • I’m not a therapist or psychologist - I’m just well read. Take my advice with a grain of salt.

Look for a certified professional starting here.